Chilli my Willy

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 14:14:19 GMT

Oh, and since I can't be bothered reading everyone's (I've read SOME) entries, I don't know if anyone's laughed about Harry Potter yet.

Cedric Diggory. Oh, yes. He's hot.

Cedric - "You know the prefect's bathroom on the fifth floor? It's not a bad place for ... (SUGGESTIVE EYEBROW RAISING)... a BATH. (Oh, Cedric, I thought you'd never ask) Just... take your egg and mull over things in the hot water (be sure not to bring your speedos. And I'll bring my 'egg' too. Wink wink.)"

Man-oh-man, was I in tears after that scene.

I love Christmas

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 13:43:48 GMT

It's been much too long since I've last perused the ramblings of my fellow LJ commoners. I miss everyone. I even miss uni to some extent. But dammit, holidays are great.

So many relatives coming for tea (and by tea, I mean christmas, as well as the week before xmas and the week after xmas). I love my cousins. They're my friends that have to like me, or else their parents won't give them money. Or something like that.

Holidays are making me so stoopid. I'm so bloody obsessed with my sex-box (xbox), and playing the shooting games gives me violent dreams.

Christmas cards will be coming eventually (I hope). If I haven't got your postal address, then you ain't getting one!

I love my letter to santa.

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last week I stole wintertime_love's purse (-30 points). Last month I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). Last Saturday maelin and I robbed a bank (-50 points). Last Monday I donated bone marrow to _away_from_you in a life-saving procedure (300 points). Last Friday I gave maiizhigh a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points).

Overall, I've been nice (234 points). For Christmas I deserve a red Radio-Flyer wagon!

Sincerely,
muchacha_atcha

My deepest apologies to Trina (girl, how many condoms are in here?!).
Richard, I found your balaclava, my mum washed it yesterday.
Sandy, you better be getting me a good birthday present.
And Marlene, I momentarily forgot what a wet willie was and could have sworn that this was physically impossible. Anyhow, sorry bout that.

Santa, I want that wagon now!

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 14:38:46 GMT

Goodness effing me.

Uruguayan goalie, FABIAN CARINI is so ridiculously hot ... Sh-zam, has anyone else realised just how sexually hott soccer players are? Fellas, I think I'm onto something here.

I want to be a soccer club groupie. Where the hey can I sign up?!

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 06:57:39 GMT

Here's a piece of dialogue from the Santos household earlier today:

Me: 'Mummy, I've got a wedgie.'

Mummy: 'What was that, dear? You say that your ASS IS EATING YOUR UNDERPANTS?'

Ahh, isn't my mother great!

One more exam to go on the morrow. Heck yeah! And only 14 days 'til Summer. Life is friggin' sweet!

Plus, 39 days to Christmas.

Oh, and approx 3 months to find a Valentine. I promised myself I would have a Valentine next year, dag-nammit! ...

Any volunteers?

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 14:17:24 GMT

Thank the almighty Zeus for supplementary exams.

Now all I have to do is break my wrist by 1.45pm on Tuesday.

Oh, but I love my wrist so much. It's all dainty and feminine-looking (albeit somewhat hairy).

Stupid Melbourne Uni and their stupid late exams.

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 14:56:32 GMT

I, Marian of the Maiden People, have fallen in love. With a Jew.

And no, it's not Jesus.

And perhaps I should stop blaspheming. (Bad Catholic girl!) NB. I'm fairly sure that I did not blaspheme by conventional standards just then, but by my own personal definition of blasphemy (which is pretty much any statement with reference to a holy figure followed by a swift slap to the head courtesy of my mother) this would certainly classify as blaspheming.

Anyhow, was finally able to talk to this unnameable boy without rambling like a fool today. Quite the achievement! And he touched me! TOUCHED me. I shall never shower again. (Finally, an excuse!)

OK, so it was just my shoulder. And OK, so he technically only really touched my shirt, which was obviously touching me, so he INDIRECTLY touched me.

Man, he's so cute.

And he thought it was cool that I have the first season of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air on DVD. He similarly found it amusing that I am liable to break out into song at any moment - especially with "It's Not Unusual" by Tom Jones. However, one can never be entirely sure whether or not this unnameable boy was laughing with OR at.

I'm filled with all that schoolgirl giddiness which is apparently still acceptable at my age. I'm on cloud 9.

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness. He was divulging to me dirty spanish/english (or rather spanglish) jokes that he had spontaneously created after we were all laughing at the distractingly orgasmic sounds emanating from what was supposed to be our listening test.

OK, so he was only telling me because I "happened" to be sitting next to him. Yeah baby, I'm so smooth.

Completely off-topic, might I say that the majority of the population are rather sexed-up and horny at this time of the year. My suspicions are Spring and the whole 'mating season' thing. Anyone else noticed?

Did I mention that he was in my Spanish tute?

Oh, I've said too much.

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 14:48:43 GMT

Comment and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
5. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
7. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written. And if ye shall fail, may a lightning bolt fly down from the sky and strike ye thus, sending ye tumbling into the terrible depths of Hades, where midgets will trap ye in a barrel o' rats and stab at ye with spoons (because they hurt more..)

This threat is compliments of the beautiful pixsky. Also, I add my own curse of death by snu-snu, since I just recently watched futurama and simply wanted to slip the quotable quote, 'death by snu-snu' somewhere in this passage.

Much love to you all! Viven las Amazonians!

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 09:22:22 GMT

Blissfully tagged by little_fatty . Bless you!

To his Coy Mistress

by Andrew Marvell

Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day;
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood;
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow.
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.

But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.

Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his slow-chapp'd power.
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

In other words -- let's do the horizontal monster mash before your breasties become wrinkled and saggy.

Go frigid chicks! Go abstinence!

Remember ladies ... just say no.

(Courtesy of Year 11 Lit)

no fancy pants

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 14:34:26 GMT

My very first journal update. How wonderfully (s)exciting!! The cherry has been popped. Or is popping.

Let me begin by saying that it has been a long and arduous road for me to finally get a livejournal. But I'm here ... and by golly, it's beautiful!!

Already I'm regretting my choice of username. I wish I could turn back my clock five minutes and type 'bugmuncher' in the username box. But I can't. Or won't.

Oh bugmuncher, my love, why can't you be mine?

On a brighter note, I'm so into Aus Idol right now ... Dan England, you rock my jocks - and baby, do I love your dreadlocks.

Did anyone notice that that rhymed? My poetic ability is being honed by the minute! Once I get my arts degree, I'll be a certified poet. You'll see.

To all my macrobbian fans - I miss you all so very much!! And fudge, I'm sorry that I have not seen so many of you in yonkies ... but be sure to read my goodies (I think at this rate, I should be updating every semester or so ... ha), and I'll promise to read all of your goodies too!

A word of warning to you all: my content will probably make you stupider. Much stupider.

Disclaimer: I accept no responsibility for killing neurons, inducing incredibly sexually-explicit fantasies (careful kids - she's underage), or repressed urges to watch excessive quantities of Aus Idol.

Goodnight my lovelies ...

PS. wow, I've just discovered the 'mood' option! My objective is to progress through the list alphabetically on each update (did that make sense? hope so), just to shake the boat. Oh yes, boat-shaking indeed. Far out brussel sprout ... she's so effing hardcore.

PPS. what the hooters is a tag?? I'm refusing to click the question mark button next to the tags box. Refusing.